Thoughts on Father's Day (& Summer Reading Hopefuls)

A brief tribute to the man who loved to shout, "Go read a book!"

Jun 16, 2023

My dad and I celebrate my fourth birthday. A few questions: What is on my arm and why does this pic of my grandma (seen in the background) always make me laugh while giving me *The Grandmother in the Window* thriller vibes?

In early February, my middle son received an acceptance from the college that topped the frighteningly short list of schools where he’d applied. We were thrilled for him (and relieved!). Amid sharing the good news, I had this nagging feeling I couldn’t shake: There’s someone I’m forgetting to tell. There’s someone who’ll be so happy for him. This joy is incomplete because I haven’t told this person yet.

That person was my dad, a super-devoted grandfather. But I couldn’t call or text him because he passed away two years ago.

In my last newsletter, I mentioned how much I enjoyed Mary Louise Kelly’s essay collection It.Goes.So.Fast. In it, the NPR reporter talks about losing her dad the year she turned 50, as I did. She mentions that the grief and sadness often sneak up and hit her at unexpected times in unusual places. For Kelly, it happened while getting a haircut. For me, it accompanied this acceptance email.

I know Father’s Day can be difficult for many people. If you’ve lost your dad, never knew your dad, or maybe have or had complicated relationships with the father figures in your life, it’s a day you may want to ignore completely.

I was 20 when I saw the movie “Father of the Bride” with a group of high school friends. As the credits rolled, one stood up and said she hated it. I was shocked.

“My dad is nothing like that dad,” she said, sad, resigned.

It was true, her father was the opposite of the lovable, sentimental George Banks. (But in all honesty, isn’t it nearly impossible for anyone to live up to Steve Martin playing a doting father?)

In that moment, standing in that movie theater, it struck me that not everyone hits the dad jackpot. (I know that sounds incredibly naive, but this was before social media and people openly shared their feelings.)

I feel very fortunate to have had the father I did for as long as I did. Granted, my dad was more like the father from “The Wonder Years” with 20% more irritability, but he was a character. I owe my love of reading to him to some degree. During elementary and high school, each time he found me watching TV, he’d shout, “Go read a book!”

Here’s an excerpt from a sample essay I wrote as part of a proposal for a collection I was tentatively titling, It’s All Uphill From Here, a humorous exploration of the challenges of caring for aging parents while raising teens. The proposal for this project made it past two enthusiastic editors before getting rejected at the final hurdle. Sigh. (I’m tabling it for now but hope to return to it when the smarting from that “No!” eases.)

When I was a teenager, my father and I argued frequently. It took me years and three children of my own to understand that he was only ever looking out for me, wanting to keep me safe, on the best path to the brightest future.
When I was pregnant with Sam, my oldest, my dad and I sat on the floor together assembling furniture, laughing because our big bellies made it nearly impossible for us to get up. He was my search engine long before Google existed, providing me with answers to questions about taxes, technology, and how to snake a toilet.
Weeks before he died, on my fiftieth birthday, he brought me two dozen orange roses. How many people get that? The love of their father for half-a-century?

This Sunday, rather than think about my loss, I’ll focus on what I had. But that doesn’t mean it’s always easy. As I’ve mentioned, writing has always been my go-to way to process, clear my head, figure out my feelings. Over the past year I’ve written a few essays about my dad that have helped me keep him close:

(I can almost hear him barking, “Stop this nonsense, Lizzie! No one wants to read about us!”)

Speaking of other modest men in my life, I am incredibly grateful that my husband is such a kind and patient father to our boys (and cats). (This is also a test to see if he actually opens this newsletter!)

As a gift, I purchased this copy of Fatherhood by Andrew Knott, humorist and essayist. I can always count on Andrew’s writing to capture truths about parenting in such relatable ways that make me laugh and tear up simultaneously. I look forward to reading it as soon as my husband finishes.

Follow Andrew Knott on social media for his wonderful takes on parenting and prepare to fall in love with his adorable bunny photos.

What I Hope to Read This Summer:

Summer has always been my favorite season to dive into a stack of books. Those required reading lists mailed home from high school English teachers made my nerd heart swell three sizes. I’d give myself a papercut in my haste to open the envelope, then beg my mom to drive me to the Borders or Waldenbooks. (Remember those?)

Here’s what I’m looking forward to reading or listening to this summer:

The Covenant of Water by Abraham Verghese

I loved this author’s bestselling novel Cutting for Stone. I actually got this new one on audio from my library but it’s 31 hours. Can I use this to justify a road trip? I listened to the first two chapters, read by the author, and the writing is gorgeous!

Synopsis: Spanning the years 1900 to 1977, The Covenant of Water is set in Kerala, on South India's Malabar Coast, and follows three generations of a family that suffers a peculiar affliction: in every generation, at least one person dies by drowning--and in Kerala, water is everywhere. At the turn of the century, a twelve-year-old girl from Kerala's long-existing Christian community, grieving the death of her father, is sent by boat to her wedding, where she will meet her forty-year-old husband for the first time.

From this unforgettable new beginning, the young girl--and future matriarch, known as Big Ammachi--will witness unthinkable changes over the span of her extraordinary life, full of joy and triumph as well as hardship and loss, her faith and love the only constants.

Available now.

Kiss Me in the Coral Lounge by Helen Ellis

Helen Ellis’s humor has been making me laugh since her collection American Housewife. I can’t wait to start this one.

Synopsis: Welcome to the Coral Lounge, a room in Helen Ellis's New York City apartment painted such an exuberant shade that a Peeping Tom left a sticky note asking for the color. It is in the Coral Lounge where all the parties happen: A game called "What's in the box?" makes its uproarious debut, the Puzzle Posse pounces on a 500-piece jigsaw of a beheaded priest, and guests don blindfolds for a raucous bridal shower.

When the pandemic shuts down the city, the Coral Lounge becomes a place of refuge, where Helen and her husband binge-watch Joan Collins's Dynasty, dote on two spoiled cats, and where Helen discovers that even twenty years into marriage, her husband still makes her heart pitter patter.

Available now.

A Likable Woman by May Cobb

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May Cobb never fails to deliver an unputdownable page-turner filled with women behaving badly. (I’ve asked May to design a line of swimwear—fingers crossed.)

Synopsis: Kira's back in her affluent hometown for the first time in years and determined to unravel the secrets of her mother's death--hidden in the unpublished memoir she left behind-- even if it kills her. . . .

After her troublemaker mother's mysterious death, Kira fled her wealthy Texas town and never looked back. Now, decades later, Kira is invited to an old frenemy's vow renewal celebration Though she is reluctant to go, there are things pulling her home. . . like chilled wine and days spent by the pool . . . like sexy Jack, her childhood crush. But more important are the urgent texts from her grandmother, who says she has something for Kira. Something related to her mother's death, something that makes it look an awful lot like murder.

Available July 11.

A Twisted Love Story by Samantha Downing

I read an excerpt in Crime Reads and was hooked!

Synopsis: From the bestselling author of My Lovely Wife comes a reckless, delicious thriller that gives a whole new meaning to the dangers of modern dating.

Wes and Ivy are madly in love. They've never felt anything like it. It's the type of romance people write stories about.

But what kind of story?

When it's good, it's great. Flowers. Grand gestures. Deep meaningful conversations where the whole world disappears.

When it's bad, it's really bad. Vengeful fights. Damaged property. Arrest warrants.

Available July 18.

Strange Sally Diamond by Liz Nugent

I’ve seen readers in the UK raving about this one.

Synopsis: The internationally bestselling author of the "dark, captivating psychological thriller" (People) Lying in Wait returns with a wickedly dark, twisted, and brilliantly observed new novel about an enigmatic woman confronting her unknown past.

Reclusive Sally Diamond causes outrage by trying to incinerate her dead father. Now she's the center of attention, not only from the hungry media and police detectives, but also a sinister voice from a past she does not remember. As she begins to discover the horrors of her early childhood, Sally steps into the world for the first time, making new friends, big decisions, and learning that people don't always mean what they say.