First, Do No Harm
A Word About Workshops & Another Episode of 'Bad Naked'
Hi Everyone & Welcome New Subscribers. Thank you for joining me!
We’ve made it to spring, and with that, two of my writing workshops (the very things getting me through winter) have come to an end. I’ll miss them both.
I want to talk about workshops because I’ve been experiencing that Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon, also known as Frequency Illusion. If you’re not familiar with this, it’s described as a cognitive bias in which you become aware of something — a word, phrase, concept, etc. — and then begin to notice it everywhere.
Here’s what keeps popping up for me: Maybe there’s not a single perfect way to run a workshop, but we can all agree attendees hopefully come away excited to write—or at least not tempted to hurl their laptops into a roaring fire.
I’ve been on both sides. I took a creative writing workshop in college and while the teacher was great and some of my classmates’ work made me say, “Wow,” we also had a few people whose sole feedback went like this: “I’d put a paragraph break here,” or a “Yeah, I didn’t get what you were going for.”
That was it. Nothing more.
Everyone’s entitled to their opinion but comments like those aren’t really helpful. When I think back on that class now, it’s often with the Vampire Weekend song that opens with “Who gives a f*ck about an Oxford comma?” playing in my head.
In 2018, I attended a workshop where I received the following feedback from the instructor: “Why are you starting here? Why do you need this character? This feels too commercial.”
It wasn’t that those comments were bad or even wrong, but her harsh delivery (coupled with some head shaking and sighing), gave me big “Why bother?” feelings. While more instructive than that college course where we debated the merits of single vs. double spacing, it certainly didn’t inspire me to skip out of that classroom and dive back into my pages.
So, when I was invited to teach a “Beginning Your Memoir” workshop last fall, I went into it with a “First, do no harm” mantra. Whenever I lead a class or workshop, I feel this huge responsibility and continually ask myself: Am I helping these writers? Did anyone leave feeling excited about their work and ready to tackle the next blank page?
I always hope so because it’s very easy to talk ourselves out of writing. With so many demands on our time, this work, especially when its unpaid, can end up relegated to the bottom of our to-do lists.
In a recent newsletter, Dan Blank wrote: “… I feel a writer’s motivation is their most precious resource. It’s something no one else can create for you — your creative vision lives or dies by it.”
I totally agree and while no one can create it for you, they can absolutely destroy it if you allow negative comments or discouraging feedback to take hold.
When my revision workshop began in late January, our wonderful instructor started off by saying she wanted to create a positive environment for us and she did. I said the same to my memoir students. Sharing your work is never easy, but when you’re reading aloud in front of people you’ve just met, it becomes even more daunting.
A friend shared that when she taught a workshop, she later learned that a seemingly innocuous comment made by one student kept another from writing for a year.
Upsetting, yes. Uncommon, no.
In her bestselling memoir Strangers, Belle Burden shares — in details that made me want to hire a hitman on her behalf — how her husband of two decades leaves her and their children with little more than a “See ya!”
Nearly as maddening to me is that as a student, Burden wanted to become a writer. Yet after receiving harsh criticism from a classmate (dubbed Greg in her book), she decided to go to law school, delaying her writing dreams by decades. I hope “Greg” saw the news that her memoir sparked a bidding war for the film rights.
In her craft book A Long Game: Notes on Writing Fiction, Elizabeth McCracken also talks about (I’m paraphrasing) how we join workshops because we love writing. The act of attending them shouldn’t disabuse us of our affection for this endeavor.
In a recent newsletter, Jami Attenberg announced that 1000 Words of Summer will start May 30 and run through June 12. More about that here.
She also wrote something that really spoke to me:
Writing anything is a lot of work and we barely break even in the end. So shit should be fun.
What if all I want to do in the end is just tell you that writing is good for you, good for your soul, your heart, your mind, and that you should make time for it because it will help you to be an ever so slightly better version of yourself? What if all I care about is pushing you closer to the page so that you can be closer to yourself?
This sums up my feelings perfectly. Thank you, Jami!
And Now for More ‘Bad Naked’…
In other news, I led a self-publishing workshop last month. It was going well until a nude man appeared in one of the squares “having a go at himself,” as a British friend would say.
It was shocking but also not. In today’s world, you only need to catch two seconds of the news to know that a man pulling down his pants is just about the least original thing he can do. As I said to friends after recounting this episode, if a guy wants to shock me now, he’s gonna have to make a donation to public radio or tell an original knock-knock joke. Because a man lying flat on his back, moaning, looking like he’s strangling a rubber chicken is no longer surprising.
What a sad state we’re in when we’re so desensitized to men behaving badly that a vile flasher garners little more than an eye-roll. I saw the faces of attendees and most looked like this:
Now personally, my first thought was “Hey, at least I’m fully dressed!” (If nude Zooming is another Frequency Illusion, I pray it stops here!)
He was kicked out only to return moments later. Eventually, he was blocked by our host.
I’m hoping attendees remember the workshop for more than this. I’m also hoping to share more about my adventures in self-publishing and other writing news in an upcoming newsletter. Getting my expenses together for tax season has helped me (read: forced me) to look at what’s working and what isn’t.
Where I’ll Be:
Speaking of workshops, I’m attending the Erma Bombeck Writers Conference week. If you’ll be there, please find me! I hope to do a recap. I’m still quoting from the wonderful presentations and keynotes from the 2024 conference.
On April 10 from 6 to 7:30 p.m., Lee Kelly, Jennifer Thorne, and I will be at The Book House in Millburn, NJ talking about writing, comedy and improv, and celebrating the launch of their latest, The Midnight Show. I cannot wait! If you’re hoping to catch these two on tour but can’t make it on the 10th, check out the rest of their schedule.
With the weather improving (finally), I hope to get out and enjoy more live events. Reading the City is a great resource! If you’re in the NY-NJ area, I recommend subscribing.
Time for my obligatory cat photo
As always, thank you for reading!
Think Elizabeth McCracken called it - We do join workshops because we love writing Liz. And having spent the last 8 weeks in our Memoir Writing workshop, it was a safe, positive and constructive environment, thanks to your having set that tone. And oh my goodness to that man (and I use that term loosely) behaving badly!
It was an absolute pleasure to be in your winter Memoir workshop. You created such a lovely environment and set a very positive tone. I left wanting to write (and read!) more. Thank you Liz! I look forward to keeping up with you here in the meantime!